You stand on an amazing precipice of your life. You need to launch into a future where you find a mate, create your career, and find your place in life. In that, you need to figure out who you are–as a man in our pansy culture.

In finding out who you are, you need to create your own life’s convictions. Your personal truths. I have many. They sound like this: I tell the truth. I will support myself in a world that creates dependency. I will not allow anyone to verbally or physically harm me.

You live in a world that allows for the predatory behavior of powerful men, yet you need to get a permission slip to hold a girl’s hand. You live in a world that says objectifying women is wrong, yet female pop singers are dancing on poles in their videos and concerts. They are soft porn stars. At awards ceremonies, they wear dental floss they call “fashion”. They put themselves on display for you, like an object, yet demand you appreciate them for their “minds”.

Here is my advice to you:

Do not look to the media to find the woman in your life. Do not date a woman/young lady who has too much fascination with the Kardashians (or whoever is “it” at the moment).

Look, and it’s a hard find, for that woman who finds joy in the simple things in life.

Look for a woman who gets the chills when you walk in the room and smile at her.

Look for that woman who takes good care of her family, pets and animals in her life. If she is the one, you know the care you will receive. Make sure you take just as much care of her.

I do NOT recommend looking for a mate on a college campus. Read this link.

Solid advice from my youth….do NOT do with a girl anything you would hate for a man/young man to do to your sister or important woman in your life.

Yes, communicate with the woman/young lady you’re dating. A LOT! Talk about expectations of your relationship, not just physical ones. If she says no to anything….it’s not up for negotiation. SAME FOR YOU. If you get to an impasse, it wasn’t meant to be.

How you conduct yourself now creates a foundation for the character YOU are growing for yourself in the future. Reread that statement. The things you do now….change you. They create small habits and thoughts that create who you are for the future. Be good to yourself and make sure you are creating a man in yourself. Not a wus or a jerk.

For the love of all things good….turn off the media and pop culture for how to date/find “the one”. Know your values and goals, then date the one who has the same values and goals.

Be cool in how you break up. Graciousness is underutilized.

Be a man. Your DNA has wired you to be a provider, protector and leader. Do it. You are being raised as the third generation of feminism gone wild. You live in a culture where men are marginalized, wussified and denigrated. I appreciate the position you’re in. I hold out my hand of support. Stay the course of being a man. Hunt, shoot, grow, learn, be wise, read your Bible. Warfare? Read the book of Joshua starting at about chapter six where God commands his people to wipe out entire tribes to take the land for Israel. God created warriors in your DNA. Don’t deny it but understand with it comes much responsibility.

Be a man. Be the warrior.
Shelby